Tuig, tuiscint : (Gaeilge-Irish) pron. “tig”
ag tuiscint pron. “uh TISH-kint” = to understand
1. Understand; comprehend
2. Know the nature of
3. Know the reason for
4. Have feeling for
5. Realize

Troll : 1. An unwelcome person; one who does not abide by common social mores; a trouble maker. Also known as a Fuckhead.

2. From Earth folklore, large underground-dwelling creatures that by legend have a taste for man. In certain fairy tales they live under bridges and other dark areas ready for the unwary traveller to come.

Trillian : See McMillan, Tricia “Trillian”

Tragula, Trin : Trin Tragula was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot. She would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic analyses of pieces of fairy cake. “Have some sense of proportion!� she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day. And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex, just to show her. Into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she had in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it. To Trin Tragula’s horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a multiverse of this size, then the one thing it cannot have is a sense of proportion.

Towel : Just about the most massively useful thing any interstellar Hitchhiker can carry. For one thing it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth on the cold moons of Jaglan Beta, sun bathe on it on the marble beaches of Santraginus Five, huddle beneath it for protection from the Arcturan Megagnats as you sleep beneath the stars of Kakrafoon, use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth, wet it for use in hand to hand combat, wrap it round your head to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal, and even dry yourself off with it if it still seems clean enough. It can be used for snaring birds whilst falling from a three-mile high marble statue. It can be used to signal temporally unstable spaceships by fossilizing them in planetary strata. More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit, etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the MultiVerse, rough it, slum it, struggle against mind-boggling odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with. Hence a phrase which has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” One of the first things that Ford Prefect did for Arthur Dent after the demolition of the Earth by the Vogons was to equip him with a towel. The Hitchhiker’s Guide is full of suggestions for successful towel deployment.

It is worth noting that a cup of white vinegar in a wash will help keep your towels fluffy and soft.

Total Perspective Vortex, The : The Total Perspective Vortex derives its picture of the whole Universe on the principle of extrapolated matter analyses. Since every piece of matter in the Universe is in some way affected by every other piece of matter in the Universe, it is in theory possible to extrapolate the whole of creation – every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition and their economic and social history from, say, one small piece of fairy cake. The man who invented the Total Perspective Vortex did so basically in order to annoy his wife. Trin Tragula – for that was his name – was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher or, as his wife would have it, an idiot. She would nag him incessantly about the utterly inordinate amount of time he spent staring out into space, or mulling over the mechanics of safety pins, or doing spectrographic analyses of pieces of fairy cake. “Have some sense of proportion!â€? she would say, sometimes as often as thirty-eight times in a single day. And so he built the Total Perspective Vortex, just to show her. Into one end he plugged the whole of reality as extrapolated from a piece of fairy cake, and into the other end he plugged his wife: so that when he turned it on she haw in one instant the whole infinity of creation and herself in relation to it. To Trin Tragula’s horror, the shock completely annihilated her brain; but to his satisfaction he realized that he had proved conclusively that if life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot have is a sense of proportion.

Titanic, Starship : The legendary and gigantic Starship Titanic was a majestic and luxurious cruise liner launched from the great shipbuilding asteroid complexes of Artifactovol. It was sensationally beautiful, staggeringly huge and more pleasantly equipped than any ship in history, but it had the misfortune to be built in the very earliest days of Improbability Physics, long before this difficult and cursed branch of knowledge was fully, or at all, understood. The designers and engineers decided, in their innocence, to build a prototype Improbability Field into it, which was meant, supposedly, to ensure that it was Infinitely Improbable that anything would ever go wrong with any part of the ship. They did not realize that because of the quasi-reciprocal and circular nature of all Improbability calculations, anything that was Infinitely Improbable was very likely to happen almost immediately. The Starship Titanic was a monstrously pretty sight as it lay beached like a silver Arcturan Megavoidwhale among the laser-lit tracery of its construction gantries, a brilliant cloud of pins and needles of light against the deep interstellar blackness; but when it launched, it did not even manage to complete its very first radio message – an SOS – before undergoing a sudden and gratuitous total existence failure.

Tí­r : (Gaeilge – Irish) pron. “teer”
an tí­r pron. “un TEER”
Ár dtí­r pron. “aw*r deer” = our land

1. Country; land; state; nation
2. District; territory
3. Rural district(s)
4. Land (as opposed to sea)
5. Country; native; ordinary

Tine : (Gaeilge-Irish) pron. “TIN-e”

1. Fire (in a fireplace)
2. Destructive fire
3. Incandescence; flame
4. Luminosity, glow; flash
5. Inflammation
6. Firing of guns

Ticks : Small epidermal parasites that are opportunists and will feed on any suitable host. See “Lawyers”

Thrashbarg, Old : Old Thrashbarg is a sort of holy man on the planet Lamuella. He’s a decent and Bob-fearing man, and he was kind to the Sandwich Maker.

Teanga : (Gaeilge – Irish) pron. “TANG-uh”
an teanga “un TANG-uh”

1. tongue of a person, animal, or bird
2. language
3. Thing like a tongue in shape or function

Teach : (Gaeilge-Irish) pron. “tahk*”

1. House; habitation; dwelling
2. Public building

Tea : Dried leaves, boiled.

Tea is considered a delicacy in many parts of the Galaxy. However, the proliferation of Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimatic Drinks Machines has made it very hard to get a good cup of tea. It is also a strong Brownian Motion producer. When a Brambleweeny57 sub-meson brain is linked to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a nice hot cup of tea, finite amounts of improbability are produced. This scientific effect was used to manufacture the Infinite Improbability Drive that powers the starship ‘Heart of Gold.’

A favorite drink of Arthur Dent.

Tart : (Gaeilge-Irish) pron. “TAHR-ruht”

1. Thirst
2. Dryness; drought
3. Strong desire; craving

Talamh : (Gaeilge – Irish) pron. “TAH-luhv”
ár dtalamh pron. “aw*r DAH-luhv” = our earth, land

1. The earth
2. Surface of the earth
3. Dry land
4. Surface of ground
5. Land; soil
6. Total extent of land; territory; country
7. Property in land
8. Spot of ground
9. Land under water
10. Solid base (for discussion, understanding)
11. Fundamentally; thoroughly
12. To gain ground; progress